Of Past Regret and Future Fear
by StarvingArtist
Summary: Story Complete! Reasonably good story in need of a title. A new CSI enters the fold. My second attmept at CSI.
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: Unknown  
AUTHOR: Lisa Holliday  
RATING: PG-13 for now but maybe an R when finished, not sure yet  
PAIRING: Nick and a newcomer

CATEGORY: Drama/Romance  
ARCHIVE: Anywhere you want, just send me an e-mail with the link  
FEEDBACK: I value constructive criticism but don't just tell me "this sucks!" and leave it.  
EMAIL: second attempt at CSI. A new person enters the fold. Takes place some time ago since it was written some time ago and will stay in that time frame but is going to otherwise be tweaked. **crosses herself even though she's not catholic but it can't hurt.**

DISCLAIMER: The regular CSI characters belong to their respective owners, the ones I made up belong to me. I'm not making a dime off this; I do it for the creative exercise.

AUTHORS' NOTES: If you must know the entire back story of Darla Harrison well, one of these days I might go George Lucas on you and write a prequel.

**Chapter 1**

The house was in shambles. A music box was in the hallway, shattered. Darla lay curled up in the corner of the bedroom, naked. Nick grabbed her bathrobe from the chair and tried to wrap it around her. She pulled back. "Don't touch me!" she cried. He finally wrapped it around her and held her close, speaking softly. "Easy, easy, it's o.k. now, you're safe." She responded by relaxing into his embrace and began to sob.

"Let's get you to the hospital." He said gently, trying to calm her.

He stood quietly outside the small sterile emergency room at Desert Palms hospital as the doctor and nurse examined her. She was not comfortable in just her robe and a smile.

"Could I have a gown, please?"

"Sure." The nurse replied.

Nick turned his back as she changed.

"Have they found anything?" his friends and co-workers greeted him outside the exam room door.

"I don't know, they're putting a gown on her."

She had bruises and cuts all over her body—her face, chest, stomach and thighs.

"Is there a chance you were raped?" the doctor asked since there were bruises on her thighs.

She heard Nick getting angry, muttering and crying.

"I-I-I don't know, maybe." She said warily before she stared off into space.

"How did this happen?" the doctor inquired.

"Darla, how did this happen?"

She was thinking back to the beginning, because she was wondering herself. She wondered how it got so out of control. She remembered the case.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

It was Darla Harrison's first day as a CSI one. In her former life she had been a nurse until a murder case lead the team to the hospital where she worked. She practically solved the case for them, which impressed their fearless leader to say the least.  She was given a crash course in forensics against her will. She loved being a nurse, she loved the challenges and connecting with people, it was her life. But all that was gone now. Now she was in charge of dead bodies, which seemed to stack up like cordwood in this town. And now, her first case- one simple "smash and grab" as the veteran CSI's called it. It's when a thief breaks a jewelry display case, grabs what he can, then flees.  It was simple and boring to them but she had not yet reached that level of thrill seeking. 

As was customary with newbies she was assigned a more experienced CSI to walk her through things, answer questions, and generally be her shadow until she was broken in. CSI 3's hated this baby-sitting but it was necessary so they usually did as they were told. This time the CSI who drew the short straw was Nick Stokes. Yes, they actually drew straws-for such hardened criminalists they could use a little cheese with their whine, especially Nick; that endearing man-child type who never really gives up his teen years. He was one of the bigger thrill seekers of the bunch, always trying to nab that solo run on a triple homicide where he could look like the hero. And yet here he was in the car shadowing a neophyte on a smash and grab; he was not happy. 

"Why does Grissom do this to me?" he started to complain. 

"Do what?" Darla asked. 

"Put me in charge of you on a smash and grab when I could be on real cases. He never lets me run solo cases. The last time I asked he said 'process'." 

"Huh?" she said, looking puzzled. 

"We were working a case, Sara came in on her day off and he sent her to a murder case-solo. I asked if I come in on my day off do I get to run solo. All he said was 'process' you know, the evidence? He blows me off all the time and now this." 

"Do you think Dr. Grissom has a personal vendetta against your career?" she quipped. 

"Great! A newbie and a smart ass to boot." 

"Well, at least it won't be boring." She reassured. "As far as the usual trainees I'm smarter, older, and have more experience-in life, I mean. If it's any comfort, nurses don't like to train student nurses, residents and doctors don't like to train med students, it slows them down and most of the students are young and book smart. They think they know it all and that makes them arrogant. But coming from three generations of nurses I took the Charlie Brown approach- 'the more I learn the more I learn that I have more to learn'. They liked that; they liked me. I was the best student in the class, graduated with honors. Not bad for a high school drop out, huh?   

"Nope, not bad at all, and I do feel comforted just being able to talk to someone about this. Thanks." 

"Anytime." 

"You did go back to high school, right?" 

She laughed and gave him a smile. "Of course I did ya idiot!" 

"Ok! Ok! Just making sure." He quipped as they pulled into the parking lot of the jewelry store-the site of the smash and grab.  

They walked into the store and up to the manager, a well-dressed woman in her 40's. 

"Hello." Nick began. "I'm Nick Stokes from the crime lab, this is Darla Harrison." 

Darla shook hands with the manager while Nick just went to work. 

"Let's take a look at the scene." He said, guiding Darla over to the jewel case.  

It was a mess-glass everywhere, jewelry gone, jewelry broken, and spots. There were spots on the glass and carpet. 

"Start with the carpet." Nick said, handing her a swab. 

She took the over-sized Q-tip and kneeled down to collect the sample. 

"Now put a few drops of this on the swab." Nick handed her a bottle of phenothalen. 

She put the liquid on the swab and it turned pink. 

"What does that mean?" he asked, in a teacher sort of way. 

"Oh my God!" she replied "the carpet's gonna have a baby!" 

Nick bent over laughing. 

"It's blood." She chuckled. 

"And?" he was trying to regain his composure. 

"And that means whoever did this-ahem, excuse me, the 'perp'- cut himself or herself."

"Very good, now swab the glass on the case where the other spot is. You're just collecting this time, the we'll take some pictures and check the E.R's." 

"Why the E.R.'s?" 

"A cut this deep needs stitches, Miss 'I-used-to-be-a-nurse.'" 

Darla shot a razz berry in his direction as she flipped back her very long red hair and stood up from the jewel case. 

"What I was trying to say before I was so rudely interrupted is that if I had done this I would just wrap a towel around it because if I went to the E.R. someone like you might be looking for me. But that's just me."  She smirked. 

He smiled. "True but we must explore everything." 

"Explore? Like the Crocodile Hunter? 'What we've got here is a jewel thief. Watch out boys and girls, Danger! Danger!'" 

"You got a million of 'em don't ya?" 

"I'm just trying to keep my cool."

"Let's get these back to the lab, then I'll buy you a late dinner." He put his arm over her shoulder as they walked back to the car. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Maybe two or three days went by and nothing turned up. 

At the lab, Darla sat down in the break room drinking coffee and reading a magazine. Grissom peeked his head in. 

"Hi Darla." 

"Hello, Doctor." She replied. 

"You can call me Grissom, or Gil if you want." 

"Ok Grissom-or-Gil." She smiled. 

He lifted one eyebrow. 

"Why is your jewelry heist taking so long?" he asked. 

She took a sip of her coffee and shrugged her shoulders. 

"I don't know. The blood work is going through the lab and the E.R.'s haven't reported anything but they get about 50 forearm lacs if it's a slow night. People love their steak knives." 

He paused for a moment. "Yes, they do. Well, keep trying but don't take forever." 

"Got it." She resumed flipping through her magazine when she realized he was still standing there, saying nothing. 

"Did you need something?" she asked. 

"What are you reading?" 

"Nursing journal, there's some articles about comfortable shoes and one about hearing loss. A guy in Denver has some remarkable treatments for Otosclerosis." 

"Could I borrow it when you're finished?" 

She closed the journal and handed it to him. "Take it. I've read it twice already. It's the latest but I'm a fast reader."

"Thank you." 

"No problem." 

He left and Darla was finishing her coffee when Nick walked in.

"We've got nothing. Nothing in CODIS, nothing in the E.R.'s, nothing." 

"So what happens now?" 

He sighed. "We go to that late dinner I promised you and we read the notes from the witnesses." 

The view from the hotel was lovely. Darla could see the whole city through the giant window. She had been to big cities before-St. Louis, Chicago, Atlanta, Dallas, Miami-but she was a small town girl at heart and this was unlike anything she'd ever seen. It was beautiful. She looked away from the window and over to Nick. Sure he could complain too much and if vanity ever became an Olympic event he would do his country proud but there was something else, underneath all that, something gentle and passionate not just with work but with everything. She felt safe around him, something she had not felt in a long time. Maybe it was meant to be that she got her life uprooted and her career changed. Maybe she could live with it, with him. She saw him look up and she averted her eyes. 

"Are you going to help or just admire the view, of the city that is."

 _Damn it! He had seen. What now? Think damn you think! _Her internal voice said. 

"Give me part of the files."

"How was your dinner?" he asked, handing her some papers as she sat down. 

"Oh, it was wonderful."

"Yeah they got good food here. See anything in the files?" 

She took a sip of her soda and gazed down at the file, something caught her eye. 

"This description, it's from the manager?" 

"Yes, why?"

"Well, she was the only one to get a good look at him. The description sounds familiar." 

"In what way?"

"I can't talk about it here. Can we go someplace else? Maybe take a walk?  My house isn't too far from here. "

"Tell ya what, we'll take the car and drive around for a while and I'll take you home. This shift's almost over anyway, thank God. I've already had to pull a double this week because of you." 

"Oh, there's the Nick I know and love." 

_Oh no, did you say "love"? What's going on _with_ you? You must be tired or crazy.  _

Nick called out. "Check please."

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 **

*Please note the language in this chapter is a bit harsher in places. 

They got in the car and Nick started to drive. 

"So" he began. "What was so secret that you couldn't tell me at the restaurant?"

She was shaking and rambling.

"I saw him. He was there and I never even knew it. I never even thought about it. I could've ruined everything. We would have gotten him sooner if I hadn't been so stupid and paid attention but I missed it. Damn it all to hell I missed it. I was too busy making jokes. I shouldn't be doing this job. This is..."

"Whoa whoa, calm down!" he interrupted, taking her hand. 

"What did you miss?" 

"Out of the corner of my eye, when I kneeled down onto the carpet, I saw him walk by the window of the store."

"How can you be sure? You only saw him briefly."

"I saw him again outside the restaurant. The description fits and he had a towel around his arm.  I didn't think of it at the time because…" she stopped and took a deep breath.

"Yeah, go on." He tried to encourage her. "Because?" 

"I was trying to impress you." She didn't say "flirt with you." She wasn't ready to admit that to herself. She hoped he didn't pick up the vibe. 

"You mean you were flirting with me?" he just had to say it.  She looked up as if someone had punched her in the gut.  She squeezed his hand tighter then put her head in her free hand. 

"My first case and I'm gonna be in so much trouble. I let him get away and I've destroyed your track record. I'm so sorry for everything." 

He pulled into the driveway of her home and tears welled up in her eyes. She couldn't even look at him. He handed her a Kleenex. 

"Nice house. Do you own or rent?" 

She was taken aback and looked up. "What?" 

"Do you own or rent?" 

"I own it." She sniffled. 

"Wow, that's amazing--moving out here, changing careers and becoming a homeowner. You must be pretty resourceful." 

"Did you not hear what I just said? I fucked up! Who gives a shit about my house or how I earn a paycheck? Some asshole got away because I was in love with you. Even in the medical world that's an occupational hazard. I don't underst—" 

He leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips and on her cheeks where she had been crying. 

"Nobody's in trouble." He dialed his cell phone. "O'reily, it's Stokes. I need patrol searching the strip for our smash and grab guy. He was spotted." 

She leaned back in the seat and rolled her head over towards him. 

"Wanna see my music box collection?"

"I would love to." 


	5. chapter 5

**Chapter 5 ******

**A Romantic Interlude.**

"This is my favorite. I've had it the longest." She said pointing to the porcelain music box of a ballerina and two doves. "It plays 'Yesterday' by the Beatles." She wound it up and they listened to the music as the ballerina twirled around the doves.   She sat it back on the shelf in the hallway. She could tell he was getting bored. "Look, you don't have to hang around. You can go do whatever it is you do when you're not working." 

"I can't leave. Not while you're still upset. You're my responsibility." 

She sat down on the couch in the living room. He sat beside her.  

"I'm calm now." She insisted. "I'm sure they'll find him." 

"Did you really mean those things you said about me?" he asked. 

"What things?" her mind was turning to scrambled eggs.

"You know those things about flirting and being in love." 

"Wait a second; _you_ said the things about flirting, I said…" 

"You said you were in love." 

"I did say that, didn't I?" her face was red from crying and embarrassment. 

"It's ok." He assured. "You don't have to own up to it. We can pretend it never happened if you want." 

"I can't do that." She said, leaning against his shoulder, curling up onto the couch a little more.  "But if you don't feel the same, I understand. I can move on. It's probably nothing, just all these hours we've spent together this past week."  

"But what if I don't want to move on?" he whispered. 

She closed he eyes and wiped away a tear. She couldn't speak; she was overwhelmed by the idea that he loved her back. Darla had always been a dreamer. She put up with the crappy dates and the bad luck with men because she believed that somewhere out there was someone special for her. Now at last she thought she had found it.  She looked up at him. 

"You don't have to." She whispered back, kissing him. 

She then awkwardly pulled away. 

"I don't have any birth control." She blurted out.

This made Nick laugh.  "It's all right, I have some." He chuckled. 

"That figures. In case of emergencies?" she joked. 

"Oh, shut up and kiss me." 


	6. chapter 6

**Chapter 6 **

She awoke around 6 p.m. she had to be at work in a few hours. But where was Nick? She lifted herself up a bit and looked around the room. On the pillow where he had been was a note.  

_Darla,_

_I got a page from work. Duty calls.  _

_Maybe we can do something later on when our shifts are over. _

_Love, _

_Nick _

She crumpled the note in her hand. "Thank god it wasn't a dream!" she said to herself, laughing; she fell back into the bed then decided to take a shower. 

The noise of the radio and the running water drowned out the noise of the opening door. Someone had broken in and was heading towards the bathroom. 

As the CSI lab, Nick was up to his ears in work. Patrol had been searching for almost a day with no results. 

"Any luck with that jewelry heist?" Grissom asked. 

"No, none at all." Nick replied angrily. "I can't believe we can't catch this guy." 

"Didn't you say he was seen last night?" Grissom asked. 

"Yes, and I have a confession to make." 

"What's that?" 

"Darla said she saw our guy outside the jewelry store the day of the crime when we were collecting evidence and she was the one who saw him on the strip. She feels terrible that she let him get away." 

"It's not our job to go after the bad guys ourselves, we're not cops." Grissom reassured. 

"Yeah, but what if he got away?" 

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Catherine Willows peeked her head in the lab. 

"I can't find the thief." Nick said. "Darla saw him in two places but didn't say anything." 

"In two places?" Catherine said, looking puzzled. 

"At the store and walking along the strip."

"Do you think he's following her?" she asked reluctantly.

"Oh dear." Grissom and Nick said together. 

"Where is she now?" Grissom asked.

"She's at her house, not too far off the strip." 

"I'll drive." Catherine urged.

The mysterious shadow moved closer and closer to the bathroom where Darla was taking a shower. She stepped out and into her bedroom with a towel around her. She looked up and screamed but before any sound could come out he slapped her. 

"You bitch!" he screamed then threw her across the room. "I'm not going to jail!"  

She got up and tried to run down the hallway. He grabbed and spun her around. Her arm brushed up against her music boxes, smashing the one she had shown to Nick.

He threw her into the living room and slapped her again, she passed out then he dragged her back to the bed and raped her. 

She woke up in the middle of it. 

"Stop it!!" she yelled. "I don't understand." 

"I'm not going to jail over some god damn jewelry! You'd better stay out of my way!"  He threw her back against the bedroom wall, and then he heard the sirens. 

She crawled up into the corner and lay against the wall sobbing and dazed. 

"Darla, can you tell me what happened?" the doctor asked once more, snapping her back to reality. 

She shrugged her shoulders and replied. "I solved my first case."  


	7. chapter 7

**Chapter 7 **

**Two weeks later…**

Darla was back to work. Catherine was waiting for her. 

"Hey Darla." 

"Hey, Cath what's up?" 

"Well, it looks like I'm in charge for a while. Grissom's gone to Denver or Boulder, some place in Colorado. He's racing cockroaches or something. Are you sure you're up to work?" 

"Yes." She sighed deeply "I was going crazy being at home with nothing to do. I couldn't even go out. I was on bed rest plus I was goofy from the painkillers." 

"Well, you had Nick to keep you company, didn't you? That's all this place has been talking about. We love to gossip." 

"You need to check your sources. I haven't talked to him since it happened. I wanted to but I haven't found the words." 

"In situations like these you don't need words, actions will do." 

"Ah, spoken like a true ex-stripper." 

"Speak of the devil." Catherine nudged Darla's shoulder as they both saw Nick strolling down the hallway. 

Catherine cleared her throat. "I'm gonna go check that thing I gave to Greg." She left but not before Darla could give her a thank you/I'm gonna kill you later look. 

She looked into Nick's eyes. "Oh god where do I start?" they both said. 

"No you first." They were starting to sound like a really bad ventriloquist act.  

They both chuckled nervously. 

He stared into her piercing blue eyes and sighed.  

She couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed him and hugged him. She didn't care who saw. She needed this. She wanted him to know it wasn't his fault nor did she blame him or change her feelings for him.  One simple embrace and he understood. 

_One year later…_

"Congratulations, Darla Stokes, I made you CSI 3!" Grissom declared in the break room as everyone applauded.

"So what's next for you?" Catherine asked. 

"I'm going to Disneyland!" she laughed. "But first I have to buy some maternity clothes."  

They cheered again. 

"Congratulations."  Sara said. 

"Oh no, another Stokes running around, God help us all." Warrick chimed in with a snicker. 

"Nick, aren't you going to say anything? You're about to be a father." Grissom asked. 

"I'll say something later." He winked at Darla. 

"Oh, yeah? Well don't be too sure you can speak, that's only half the story. Today I found out I'm having twins." For once she wasn't joking. 

"Oh my god!" they all cheered. 

"Wow, we have so much to celebrate for once. This is awesome." Catherine exclaimed.

"Speech! Speech!" they demanded. 

"Oh boy!" she began "This past year has been amazing. Now I know how Grissom feels on that roller coaster. But you know what? I think I'm gonna like it here. I know my first case was a disaster and it took a lot to get over it. I'm still dealing with it and probably always will be but I know I have friends I can lean on and a great teacher and husband who saw me through the ups and downs; I couldn't ask for more than that. Thank you all. I love you. By the way, Grissom, may I speak to you for a sec?" 

"What's that about?" Sara wondered aloud.

They walked to his office, the most private part of the lab.  

"I was just wondering how your 'Denver roach races' went." She whispered, covering her mouth. 

"They won." He whispered back.

"I'm happy for you."  She figured a hug would be too much so she offered her hand and he shook it. 

"Hey Darla, Gris, you gonna re-join the party or not?" Nick yelled from the break room. 

"I'm coming honey." Darla replied. 

Brass entered the room. 

"I hate to break up the party but we got a shooting at end of the strip."  

"Time to go catch the bad guys." Catherine said. 

"Yep, only this time, Darla, if you see something, speak up." Nick prodded. 

Another comment worthy of a razz berry. 

The End. 


End file.
